Why is the human race obsessed with taking anything that works and shoving a clock radio, GPS, or iPod in it? Not me, no sir, I've seen The Brave Little Toaster. I don't want computers in anything that can help defend myself from the inevitable wrath of computers.
And now these devils of the electronics industry, these merchants of death, have encroached their greasy hands upon my most favorite of modern inventions: The Bicycle. Just look at what they've done:
Yep, some moronic, short-sighted eggheads at MIT have created the Bike 2.0 with the Smartwheel. A wheel that STORES KINETIC ENERGY FROM BRAKING and SAVES IT FOR ACCELERATING BOOSTS. Oh, and it also works in par with an iPod that snaps onto the handlebar/headset to provide a GPS, physiological information, and of course music.
Those bastards! They took the perfect vehicle and befouled it with the cunning devilry of Steve Jobs! Damn them all!
Actually, it's pretty friggin' cool. Looks sharp too (have I been hypnotized like I wrote about in The Future is iCandy?).
But from what I've observed most people can barely operate a GPS and drive at the same time. Imagine how accident-prone people will be with an alluring and hypnotizing iPod attached to their bike... The horror... the horror...
By the way, did you know that The Brave Little Toaster was actually a propaganda film produced by General Electric? It's true*.
*Might actually be false. I didn't feel like doing the research.
0 COMMENTS:
Post a Comment